Happy Wednesday! Hope your December is off to a good start! Can’t believe it, but Christmas is, literally, just over two weeks away. My Goodness! Guess we’re going to be leaning pretty heavily upon Amazon this year… at least at my house! Good Times!
So, want to know something? Are you sure? Ok. I’ll just go ahead and say it, “You don’t get it”. There. Done.
“Wait!” I hear you say (At some point, I’m probably going to have to do something about these voices in my head). “What don’t I get?”
Well, that’s not a tough response considering I threw a rather generic one-liner at you! 🙂 What am I talking about? It’s gotta be an MS thing right? 🙂 Of course it’s an MS thing! I bring this up because I’ve been reading an awful lot of posts and articles from people with MS and one of the most commonly used phrases seems to be something along the lines of, “People who don’t have MS, just don’t get it!”.
I’ll try to set this up so it makes more sense! Take me, for example (There’s no one else here anyway), sitting in my favorite chair, feeling dizzy enough that sitting in a chair seems like a great idea for the whole day or, maybe, even the rest of the week. I’m not talking to anyone, but I’m staring mindlessly at the TV or my iPad or maybe even a book.
Now, picture someone else walking into the room. The room is a bit of a mess. The kitchen floor is dirty, counters are a mess and the dishes aren’t done. Furthermore, the “Honey do” list for the day hasn’t even been started. And when that someone else looks around, there I sit. By all appearances I look good and am simply sitting around and watching tv/reading/playing with the iPad, when there is all this other “Stuff” to be done. So, the other person is now annoyed and upset at the perceived laziness and unwillingness to get tasks and work done around the house.
Make sense? See, it all comes back to all of those “Invisible” symptoms. If the person who walked into that room had MS and knew I had MS, their first assumption wouldn’t be laziness. It would most likely be that I was feeling really tired or even dizzy. However, most people with MS most likely don’t have a wife or girlfriend/boyfriend/etc. who also has MS. This leaves a bunch of open room for people to get frustrated with one another.
“What about communication?”, you ask! Well, that’s a good point! However, I don’t want to be a person who complains all the time or talks about how MS is impacting my day. Most the time I’d rather just say nothing and wait for the way I’m feeling to pass. I don’t want to have to say something about MS every time I feel tired or weak or dizzy because that would make MS a bigger part of my life that I want it to be. Of course, by not saying anything it’s possible that lack of communication could be negatively impacting my relationships at times. 🙂 It feels like a no win proposition at times.
Also, even though it irritates the fool out of me at times, it IS good to be married to someone who pushes me. Pushes me to be active. To get up and do “something” every day. While I don’t need the proverbial “Kick in the butt” everyday and while I may complain about being pushed… at the end of the day it’s something that is really helpful. At least to me.
So, I’ll say it again… “You don’t get it”. 🙂 The fact is, I also don’t get it when it comes to dealing people who have chronic health conditions. I mean, I know how “I” feel, but I can’t really tell you how my wife, kids, family and friends feel about me and dealing with MS as third parties. It’s gotta be frustrating at times. So, perhaps a bit more patience and understanding from everyone involved is what is needed? No one wants to be misunderstood or have negative assumptions made about them. At least I don’t think anyone does. 🙂
I’ll end it there. Feel like I’m swimming poorly in the deep end of the pool with this topic, but I wanted to get it off my chest (So to speak). Thanks for bearing with me!
Talk to you soon…
Steve
#1guywithms
